Waking Up Next To You

across this bed,

is my cup of happiness

how could breaths be this beautiful and

gentle,

be forgiving and loving?
across this bed,

lies my daily habit the

You to all my-

I love
across this bed, 

I could write an endless love poems

but I won’t. Because across this bed

my greatest love poem lies

across this bed

there is you….

#100tula #21tula 22.10.17buesirie

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If I Needed to Become a River

I, always thought I’m too much that

not everyone can withstand me and

just like a fire,

all I know is how to burn

Lately, I feel I like I have to become

bigger than

the Great Chicago fire, to make up for all your love

I-

could stretch out to few infernos

but

Sometimes, I feel like-

you are asking me to flow

and I am no river you know

I have always been a fire

I either burn or glow

if I could expand myself enough for

me to create a fire of waves

be an ocean full of flames

would I be enough?
Because-

lately, you are growing so fast and wide

I am no longer sure if

if I can stretch myself further

for us to be together 

after all, I’m just a fire

and I can only do so much until

my flame starts getting weaker

and my heart gets cold..

2017.21.10 bluesirie

When You’ve Got A Terrible Way Of Saying I Love You

I wonder if at times, he loses his mind
trying, hard enough, to decode all the silences
gift-wrapped with smirk and ribboned with snobs
I send all the way to his heart-door

I wonder if he knew, I am in fact, inlove with him
It’s just that I have a terrible way- of saying it
that for moments he felt lonely and alone
I’d travel back with a time machine and, insert pieces of me beside him.

I wonder if this poem, will ever reach him
You see I adore him- so much, that when they said
being enough is an inside job, I couldn’t bring myself to believe it
You see when I gaze in his eyes, they send the exact message to my soul

I wonder, if I can unimagine your face
because I swear that structure makes me lose my sanity
The same way you see in watercolors when you’re inlove.
And if this one reaches your heart, hey mister, dear mister, know I’m so inlove with you…

Bluesirie 20130704

Color Blind-Love Blind

I couldn’t see his true colors- or maybe, intentions.
Whenever he say he loves me, I always have an anxiety attack
because I love him too. But I don’t know how-
to say it, to someone as mythical as him.

I can look at pain and see nothing but beauty
I can tell he’s an idiot, meaning he’s my whole universe
wrapped up in his perfected body
laced with all the assurance and uncertainties
I’ll ever need.

But he is color blind and
have no idea what I mean.

Maybe he’s doing his best, to show me
that the world is more than the blackness of my hair or
the brownness of my eyes and
the pink garden on my cheeks or
the hotness in my blood and
the blueness of the sky.
Maybe, he wants to teach me, train my eyes
to look at beauty that I’m not aware of
That haven’t been introduced to me before

But my love is blind.

I couldn’t read his love no matter how many times
he sends it through my mailbox
I couldn’t see the reason why he will love
someone as shipwreck as me

But still I love him. Even when I don’t know
how to say it. I love you!
Even when I hear him say he loves me too, I still don’t know.

I want to know if we’re looking at the same purple sea
if he can look at my bruises and wait for me
to kiss it myself
I want to know, that though he is color blind and my love is blind-
we both could see
that there’s a frozen love in the fridge
waiting for us, it is us.

And sometimes I wonder, if
we should take it out, let it melt in love
at the risk of evaporation or
we should just keep it preserved, solid and emotionless

But, do we stop living just because
we know we’re going to die?
I know I won’t!

My question now is-
will you help me take us out of the frozen machine
melt and disappear into the thin air
until such time our love is so soft
it would be so impossible to-
even solidify the matter?

Bluesirie 20130704

If we are ever to be reborn and find each other

They will tell you, I’m no good for you.
That my scars are sins
and my brokenness would only cause you-
to drown in a pool of sadness.

They will tell you, you’ll find someone
greater than me. As if being me-
is a crime. As if comparison by
degrading your personality-
is a holistic thing.

They will tell you, I am danger
and you are the safe side
and it’s best to let go than for to you to explode-
to seven billion puzzled pieces by loving me

They will tell you, you deserve better
But you will still take your chances on me
And you will tell them about our love
sprinkle them hope that in time, they’ll all get there.

But maybe, just not in the exact same place
where grace promised an infinity
if we should ever find each other

again…

Bluesirie 20130625

Photograph

The night you told me you love me
I remember swimming in seventh heaven
I didn’t know where on earth was that
but I have no words for such joy yet

I do not know how to look at you
any more than long, I’d fall so deep
it would be impossible to-
even think of saving me

too short and I know I will-
miss you too soon
the sun and the moon would gossip for the way
my hands would trace the image of you

I wish there are shortcuts to loving you
Like, instead of telephone
I could say phone and-
it wouldn’t lose it’s meaning

But, I realized how cellphone and telephone-
short cut in the same pattern and-
I don’t like anyone to have the same way
to your heart, to beat the same path, I have beaten

I guess I’ll have to deal for moments when-
my heart would stop beating
when you’d take the air out of my lungs
just because you are near me

Moments I swear, that even living falls short
to witness a beauty that is you- that is
larger than life
that is someone

I love…

Bluesirie 20130625

Maybe I’m validating fear because you have a terrible way of feeling loved

ahhh! I hope to be back soon. My Internet connection sucks. At its worst! Lol! I can’t even post. But I’m hoping this one will go through. ✌✌✌ sorry if i’m not reading lately. Will surely get back on you one blog after the other. 🙏🙏🙏 praying for stronger connection. Lol!

You write about fears more often than-
you- “slide your phone to unlock”.
You make courage jealous for the beauty you sketch
as you wander around the avenue of it.

Maybe fear isn’t a bad thing after all?
I reckon it grabs you to the core so that-
you’ll know exactly how to breathe without one
Maybe it calls for an- active appreciation

one day I asked, why write so much about it.
How can you make it so elegant as if
fear is something to-
paint my wildest dreams upon.
As if fear is more delightful than being happy at all.

And you said, I am that fear for you.
You keep writing about me and the beauty you see,
that when I’m scared, I am the most beautiful in your eyes
I am, because you have never felt needed
than when I hold you without letting go.
And you think it’s selfish but you’re not sorry at all.

You said, that in all the possibilities that ever happened to you-
you met a girl, who wear her scars proud
who is strong enough to build her own walls,
brick by brick
who never let anyone see her crumble into dust-
and in all the miracles-

but you…
goodness, but only you…

I cried for thirty-six hours after hearing that.
I had to push away the interviewer on the front door
because he keep asking questions.
When all I ever wanted to answer to everything was- “I love him!”

Bluesirie 20130623