You Said I Was Too Much, So I Decided to Let You Go

This will be the last poem I will bleed for you

But this won’t be the last love poem I’ll breathe life into

You will not be the last person I will break my heart open either

Someone who think of me as such, couldn’t be my last 

Notice how every line has the word ‘last’ in it?

Because I thought we would last

I thought, this is my forever at last!

Turns out, this isn’t and you’re now my past…

When you said I am too much, did you mean

Because I want the kind of love that annihilate me?

Or is it because I want all of you, not just bits and pieces but all of them?!

Or is it because I want what I want and I’ll never shrink myself to fit into your hands?

When you said I am too much

You probably forgot that I matter

I occupy space, I have a mass that could weigh weak people down

You forgot I am important 

When you said I am too much

It burns like betrayal

You held my body, we were on fire and at those moments

You never think I was too much, did you?

When you said I am too much

You did not only break me into a thousand pieces

You also broke all the unbreakable things I thought

Would be unbreakable by now

When you said I am too much

You forgot to remember that I also love too much

And that forgetting you would turn my world upside down

Because I don’t know how to give less

Because I am too much, so is my heart….

27.10.2017 ©bluesirie

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April 17th

Today will have to be more like a prose in regards to the Boston attack

If I were to carve my head wide open, I will find names I did not know made me.

I recently told my friend how, cruel documentaries could turn me into some absurd irrational person capable of inflicting pain towards another human being who could not, with all their hearts on their chest, beating organically like us, shows compassion towards another life form.

The verisimilitude of me, resenting people at times like those, is high. Lol!
However, I, no matter in what circumstances and instances, is in fact, glad to be human. I just don’t think that sometimes, it’s something to be proud of. Haha!

Moreover, news this morning made me took a walk and find refuge under the shade of a huge tree. Wherein, lightness and darkness simultaneously touched my skin as the wind took the leaves to dance to console me. This is the kind of tree that no matter how I strive to embrace wouldn’t allow me to. My hands could cradle one of the most precious gift of life, yet I can’t hug a tree. Which made me question my ‘abilities’ as a ‘human’ being. Then I close my eyes as the wind gently blows away my hair and whispers behind my ears, ” Karla, your hands may have graced the most treasured gifts you humans could have traced your hands with, and that is fine, but for us, you are the most invaluable, delicate present we could ever had. Allow us, the privilege to make you feel it so.” (Ahh!! this is probably one of the best part of being human, i told myself) and before I could even start analyzing things, I realized I was being nestled by nature’s loving arms, in the form of a tree…and my worry that by the time it is quiet, much will have been said and nothing will have been done, finally subsided…

April 15th

something out of nothing

“This makes me jealous!”
a fellow blurted
a smirk grew upon my face
as I reminisce those dainty days

Is- this love sufficient
to make a man envious
decoding a spilled ink
I poured out for you?

Is- living my life
to be summed up by you
sheltering covenants made- enough
to show my devotion on you?

Because sometimes, goodness sometimes
I wish you knew
I’d make something out of nothing
if it meant, just to be with you…

©Bluesirie 201304

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