Belong (an honest love poem)

If I could get a hold of myself
I’d never glance at your direction
I’d never keep torturing my chest
just at the sight of your perfected face

If I have enough self control
I’d stop weaving words upon this dusty page
But when Andrea said an “honest love poem”
My pen leads me back to you

If my heart could stop betraying me-
If my hands could stop conspiring with it-
We could both put each other’s case to rest
But it won’t happen, it doesn’t happen so easily

You see, I love you. In the most honest way, I do
And I’ve forgotten where to draw the line-
between staying still or moving on
Or unimagine that summer afternoon when we play “I do”

I’m still unapologetically in love with you
I’m not sorry for staying beautifully miserable
I’m not sorry even when my heart could healthily beat-
103,680 times a day and yet-
I know I only beat the half of it.

Because the other half I keep feeding onto you
So maybe I’m unhealthy, maybe I’m sick
I know you don’t want me this way

But, what can I say?

I couldn’t belong to anybody
But you…

Bluesirie 20130608

April 7th

Ghostwriter

It matters not how you weave it
compose, where you’ll meet it
but write her biography..

how she scraped her knee
when she learned to wound herself
expectations broke her heart

tears of joy flowed down her cheeks
the time she mastered how to tease
the night ecstasy woke her up

The way sweetness fall upon your page
how grace embrace your every verse
endless devotion, humble prostration

The way you touch your beloved
glorify in his presence
yet, tormented in his absence

“Like that, like that!”

Rumi, write my biography
in an avenue, only you-
could ever explore…

April 5th

The Sky Looks Up On Us

ever wonder how
the sky looks at us?
certainly discern
he’s gazing down on us?

because there are times
I’m more convinced
he’s gazing up for us.
We- are sky in minced!

we framed constellations
dots linked to one another
a celestial beauty
with each shift we fashion

Next time you think
how stunning the sky is,
how you prostrate unto him
and tell yourself “ahh, the sky”…

realize the sky reckons we’re stars
gleaming distinctive shades,
this earth we stand on-
firmament of beauty, for him…

(in the same manner that he is, for us…)

April 4th

Someday

“Never fear being unattractive”, he said
since then,
I moved my heart in his’
wrote six lifetimes of letter
with him as my only center…

You, are on every layers of my skin
crush me- witness the most cherished feeling
bursting out of me
made- out of you!

Everyday, I scatter myself
on the floor of our memories
others said I’m littering-
I, call it living

You, held me twenty four times
the day you bid goodbye
and no matter how you shaped me
you couldn’t tame and calm me

Then I met a guy
whose heart could build-
an entire village if he wills
and want me as his queen, but-

I’m your green-skinned alien
I never yearned to rule
neither be the capital of a million’s eyes
nor the focus of an emperor’s heart

I, my only desire
is to live in your breath
document each time your heart-
would beat fast, all ’cause of me

and I will find my way to you
no matter how arduous it gets to you-

not one spark of beauty
not one refined jewelry
-ever comes close

to the flame in your eyes
the light of your heart-
a stunning aesthetic
that no one, goodness,

no one, on the surface of the earth
will ever come close
quite the way, I did
and ever will…

April 2nd

Tracing Memories

There were moments, I-
trace my fingers on my pillow
there, my hands tremble to feel,
an invincible shadow of you

If these pillows could talk
the world outside would be so jealous-
I, move tears to reach your presence
I, move the air to feel your essence

Today, an illusion reminded me that-
you’re gone
Thirteen seconds later,
something in my rib cage died!

Yet, my love was made-
from the strongest material,
from the deepest form of passion,
the loudest voice of longing

and I don’t know how to stop
if you’re gonna be on the line
’cause what keeps me going that keeps me striving-
lies on a beautiful art, that is you…

April 1st

What will define me
when every way my hand touches this pen
-and the very ink that endlessly comes out
are strokes and sillouettes of you?

What will move me out in the land of tears?
Without your ravishing presence- I cry
though everywhere I turn to feels like- you,
breathing for me and all I can do, is live

What will Heartbreak feels
when I haven’t let you go
and you live inside my heart-
in a place outside the touch of time?

What will alter my endless love
when what defines it is beyond reason
and what moves me is a hope for eternity
and Heartbreak doesn’t make me love you- less? Tell me…

Becoming Beautiful

He said he’d patiently watch me-
become beautiful

And when I come out of my cocoon he’ll keep what remains from my previous stage
preserve it under his pillows-

(He never said it though
but I know that’s what he’ll do)

He loves every ugliest and worst pieces of me
and it’s very predictable of him

and sometimes I want to know
sometimes I want to ask-

why does he have to wait for me
when for him, it matters not

me
-being beautiful

Because in an organic sincere way
Even if seven billion eyes see my spark
I’d choose to burn away
just for him

never a balloon,
always a boomerang..

(but I didn’t evolve as a butterfly like everyone did, much like an insect of some sort
I have no name for…yet)