A never ending letter to him

“Your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul.”
Charlie Chaplin in a letter to his daughter, Geraldine

If I could have the courage to be vulnerable
I’d still want you to be the one-
break me, open; shatter me to a million pieces
so no one can ever put my puzzle back

If I could only look back one day ’bout my past
I’ll stop for the time you said we should really kiss
let your breath stain my mouth to-
later be trace and ink permanently on my lips

If I could only write one theme for all my life
I’d choose the topic about the man I love
made up of organic beauty and string of words
hang it like a noose ’round my heart

If I could be in a place where you and I could both meet
and courage rewards as a little infinity,
when love looks exactly like your eyes
then maybe, this is life’s greatest gift-
an eternal love
through the man I love…

Bluesirie 20130710


When You’ve Got A Terrible Way Of Saying I Love You II

When you said you love me,
I had an anxiety attack
See I’m a girl who had forgotten how this works
so, all the molecules in me were shocked.

They say one sure way to get over someone-
is to change the way they mean to us.
Now I can’t treasure anything without you
so I guess, I will skip this part.

They say the opposite of faith-
is certainty.
You see I’ve never been so sure about you
maybe- I have tremendous faith in you.

My mind keeps convincing me-
you can’t love me. This is a joke.
I’m everything a girl isn’t suppose to be
therefore, you will eventually unlove me.

But I’m in love with you!

I want to open up enough for you
love you so completely that-
I know I’m at my best.
I wanna take my chances and take them all with you.

And for the times I made you feel sad and alone
unwanted and unloved, my heart wants you to know-
I do love you.
My love is love no matter how many times

my mind mistaken it

for anything else…

Bluesirie 20130709

Color Blind-Love Blind

I couldn’t see his true colors- or maybe, intentions.
Whenever he say he loves me, I always have an anxiety attack
because I love him too. But I don’t know how-
to say it, to someone as mythical as him.

I can look at pain and see nothing but beauty
I can tell he’s an idiot, meaning he’s my whole universe
wrapped up in his perfected body
laced with all the assurance and uncertainties
I’ll ever need.

But he is color blind and
have no idea what I mean.

Maybe he’s doing his best, to show me
that the world is more than the blackness of my hair or
the brownness of my eyes and
the pink garden on my cheeks or
the hotness in my blood and
the blueness of the sky.
Maybe, he wants to teach me, train my eyes
to look at beauty that I’m not aware of
That haven’t been introduced to me before

But my love is blind.

I couldn’t read his love no matter how many times
he sends it through my mailbox
I couldn’t see the reason why he will love
someone as shipwreck as me

But still I love him. Even when I don’t know
how to say it. I love you!
Even when I hear him say he loves me too, I still don’t know.

I want to know if we’re looking at the same purple sea
if he can look at my bruises and wait for me
to kiss it myself
I want to know, that though he is color blind and my love is blind-
we both could see
that there’s a frozen love in the fridge
waiting for us, it is us.

And sometimes I wonder, if
we should take it out, let it melt in love
at the risk of evaporation or
we should just keep it preserved, solid and emotionless

But, do we stop living just because
we know we’re going to die?
I know I won’t!

My question now is-
will you help me take us out of the frozen machine
melt and disappear into the thin air
until such time our love is so soft
it would be so impossible to-
even solidify the matter?

Bluesirie 20130704

I loved a man I will never unlove

I keep telling my heart to stop acting

like a swimmer, and cease on diving for you.

You see my heart is broken, could anytime get the drownin’,

it ain’t no Michael Phelps at all.

Every time it sees you, it paddles

for survival. Your eyes makes me wish

I don’t have a pair at all. The way you look at me

I swear, you annihilate the air in me. But I love the ephemeral joy it brings!

You were that strong- or may be, I am just weak- addicted to you.

Yesterday I went out with my friends. They told me

to buy this kojic acid because it will help me-

to look beautiful. I said I don’t know.

I said, there’s a man who thinks I’m pretty.

Every time I awarded him a quick snob he thinks it’s sexy.

He said it’s my way of saying I love him. He thinks

whenever I don’t answer his text it’s my way of hinting him

to call me and announce to me that he loves me. I said, there’s a man

who doesn’t need to be reminded that his girl is gorgeous by any outside forces.

A man who has made up his mind.

I made up my mind too. I didn’t buy the product.

I stock a high amount of love you perpetually provide.

Oblivious how childish that act was.

You said l will never run out of love, not yours- ever. You knew.

You know my fears and you always try to kiss them away.

You said you never felt needed, connected to anyone but me.

But baby the truth is, the whole world could crumble and I will not blink an eye,

as long as it’s your hand I am holding. I will not dread anything!

but the thought

of living
without you…

Bluesirie 20130617

Despite of my inconsistencies, I’m certainly in love with you

I don’t know if you’re just talented enough or

it’s really pure excellence but-

how is it even feasible to honey-coat your every word-

resulting to the evaporation of my being?

Yes! You make my heart melt

You make me believe in magic

You plant a rose garden on my cheeks and-

grow infinite love in my heart

How do you do it?

How can a single human being do so much?

How can my heart weighs so heavy when-

it only measure 256 grams on the scale?

How do you do it?

I see a labyrinth of passion in your eyes

and god do I get lost,

totally bemused gazing at you

(I don’t know how you do it, but let me tell you this;)

I want your words capsuled, to take in for your arms

they are warm; they soothe my restlessness

I want a saccharine outburst of your mouth-

transported to mine.

And in the complexities of my incongruencies,

the stability of my feelings for you-

I believe;
certain for no reason,

you have my whole heart,
you always did…
always will….

©Bluesirie 20130505