A. I Love You

When Clementine wrote
A Mouthful of Forevers
I thought,
this is it!

Someone was able to
carved out something from my chest and
carefully traced it
to the perfect
combination of words
there ever existed.

I knew then that I have to write-
to you
for you
about you.

(I was 14 when I thought love was forever
I was 16 when I thought I was in love
I was 19 when I stopped believing in magic
I was 27 when I made a mistake and fell in love with you)

I’m not a perfect lover
there are days when insecurities,
fear and jealousy would eat me whole
and all I wanna do is-
to give you up

it’s always easy to walk away

yet, no matter what
you stay

I love you
from this day onwards
I will trust you, have faith in you
let go of my fear to be hurt

for, whether it brings pain or not
there’s one thing I couldn’t do anymore, and that is-
to reset my heart and
unlove you. So, love you, I will.

Until forever becomes
the kiss and the hug
we could give to each other everyday.

Until forever becomes
enough
for both of us
to share…

©bluesirie 22.09.’14

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He’s Different

he’s different. He’s one of the few
I will always feel blessed
to have been gifted the chance to
connect with, even for such a brief period of time..

he’s different in all the sense that made sense- even to the ones that doesn’t..

he’s different, maybe only because my heart craftily made him so, but he’s different..

maybe not in the way you would expect it, but
in the ways my soul
would flutter when
his proximity is within

this world’s reach…

I Don’t Wanna Catch Up to the Letting Go

in honor of a dear friend who recently passed away. Now I know I have completely neglect blogging here, but I’m still here..and this is the first poem I’ve ever written for the last five months so forgive me for the lack of words…

from the outside it’d seem like we’re total strangers
like we never spoke anything in a deeper level
but we did and though the world didn’t take notice
we know, at least both of us knew

I don’t wanna catch up to the letting go
nor miss your acrostically woven poetry
I want to unlearn the fact that-
you’re gone

Dear Bud, I will miss you
for the way you love everything that you love
Dear Bud rest well, dream on
know you’ll always have a home in our hearts-
the lives that you forever touched

I don’t wanna catch up to the letting go
no, not just yet
I want to forever swim into the pool of our friendship
no matter how shallow it looks
Don’t make me catch up

to the letting go…
just,
not yet….

bluesirie23.12.13

Your Beauty

You marry words like couples in love
that I, for the life of me
wouldn’t know how to meet
much more- connect

You make me feel foreign-
on my own heart
fueling my adrenaline
rushing at your presence

Tell me what makes you, you?
I vow to preserve the only beauty
that makes me believe in the reality
of loving and being loved to infinity…

Bluesirie 20130725